You said to go where?

I have a working compass for one city alone. Everywhere else, I'm perpetually lost. However, this tends to lend itself well for stories, meeting new people and long walks.
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  • 3 things

    Breakfast.

    Laundry.

    Shopping.

    One makes me complete. One makes me reasonable. One makes me buzz.

    Simple day, but those three things will make or break it.

    “ People show that they like you in all kinds of different ways. But some basic ones are … they want to hear your stories. They care how you feel. They want to make your day better. They want to listen to your problems. They reach out to you. … One nice definition of love, I think, is that another person’s happiness is more important to your own. ”

    “ Of all the liars in the world, sometimes the worst are our own fears. ”

    —    

    Rudyard Kipling

    What was best for me I didn’t want. Although I knew logically that protecting myself and choosing happiness was the best option, it was the long term choice of best fit. In the short term, protecting myself was to stay where I was and happiness was with him. But he did not fit me and I did not fit him and maybe we did at one moment, but those moments fade. The strong ones stay and the real effort comes through both parties, not just one and they mirror each other — it’s not a constant blood draw from one heart to another. So I lied to myself until I could lie no longer; that the fear of not having happiness and love condemned me to a fraudulent love and in this, there is no happiness. 

    The Problem with Townhomes

    When screams start coming through the walls and you’re not sure if it’s any of the three: 

    1. tortured cat
    2. tortured/angsty/obnoxious toddlers/youngin’s 
    3. a murder in progress

    So you sit there, turn your music down a couple decibels and think to yourself “Is that too high pitched? Would someone scream words in a murder scene or just shout randomly? Is that pounding of play or of running away because of sudden death and necessary escape?” 

    I mean, you really have to think it through and reach a point where you’re OK turning your music back up and going on with your day, complicit in whatever random and strange activity your neighbors may or may not be involved in… 

    Humans. 

    On Doing Nothing

    I can’t bear the thought of following through with any of the social engagements I committed myself to this weekend.

    Real talk: I want to lounge on, in, and near my bed at all times. Nothing else.

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