I’ve abandoned Tumblr for a bit despite my adoration for what it is and the people that comprise it. There are no excuses, but my slight explanation will be that I’ve been a bit lost and overwhelmed. I think that tends to happen when you have a lot of time on your hands, but are without a clue as to where to channel all that energy we inherently possess. My creativity has been bursting at my mythical seams and I often look around, stare at whatever catches my eye and attempt to find something that will hold my attention for at least 20 minutes.
So far it hasn’t turned out that well, but I’m O.K. with that.
Yesterday I turned 25 and when the day was a few hours in… I felt a bit… uhhh… disappointed. Two years ago I had this idea that I would do something really, really fun for such an occasion that is the quarter life celebration, but whatever I had imagined never actually happened. The quick realization after said feelings of disappointment was that this is life. We contemplate what we think we want, what we think we can get and where we think we want to go and from there we make decisions that we hope will culminate and yield absolute success. Maybe success is the wrong term to use here and it probably is, but you get the picture.
What I’ve done is essentially that and where I find myself today is a result of the decisions I’ve made and others have also made. I can’t change anything that has happened, but I can change the perspective I hold this very second.
The point is that I thought 25 would be a big deal and in a sense it is. I’m fine with where I’m at and I’ve put to rest the insecurities I had. I don’t really care to debate them or discuss old news. So essentially I’ve come to a comfortable spot where this is my frame of mind:
I’m 25. I’ve done what I wanted to do and I still have a lot to do. I have no idea what is going to happen and I haven’t since I graduated in 2008, but I’m confident that no matter where I fall, I’ll land on my feet and keep on going. Autumn temperatures have finally arrived and tomorrow was the day I was supposed to depart for Belgium, but it’s been postponed and you know what? I couldn’t be happier (for now) that I get to experience another great autumn in a place I both loathe and love.