I just wrote and deleted nonsense. Must think more clearly, Whit.

Okay. Starting over…

I don’t know where I want to go or what I want to be. I know I want to be excellent. I know I am driven. I have many tools, abilities, talents and enormous potential - but where to place it?

Am I choosing to ignore politics as my calling because it infuriates me so much? Is this what a matching career should do? Is it supposed to bring us immense joy and pain?

It’s frightening to not have a clear and stable understanding of where your life is going. Mine has been constantly changing since I graduated. Sometimes this makes me feel less than those who have solidly carved out their own careers. To them: I’m free.

I guess sometimes both sides are lost in their own way. I want more restraints and they want more freedom.