You said to go where?

I have a working compass for one city alone. Everywhere else, I'm perpetually lost. However, this tends to lend itself well for stories, meeting new people and long walks.
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  • “ Of all the liars in the world, sometimes the worst are our own fears. ”


    Rudyard Kipling

    What was best for me I didn’t want. Although I knew logically that protecting myself and choosing happiness was the best option, it was the long term choice of best fit. In the short term, protecting myself was to stay where I was and happiness was with him. But he did not fit me and I did not fit him and maybe we did at one moment, but those moments fade. The strong ones stay and the real effort comes through both parties, not just one and they mirror each other — it’s not a constant blood draw from one heart to another. So I lied to myself until I could lie no longer; that the fear of not having happiness and love condemned me to a fraudulent love and in this, there is no happiness. 

    Sorry to be sappy and sad but…

    My heart hurts. 

    Falling for people and then having it implode for reasons you can’t pinpoint is entirely frustrating and more or less just really sad. All the phrases about other fish can be said, but I don’t want them — I just wanted the one. That’s all. A simple wish, but it’s a wish, not a given and definitely not something that we are all able to have in life. Who knows, maybe I will be bound to being single. (bleh)


    In Bruges by [Photom] on Flickr.

    It’s funny how one city can become so iconic to a person. None of the other cities I visited meant as much to me as Bruges did and it’s because he was with me. Despite the fact that we never worked out and we made some bad decisions that made working out even more difficult, what we did have was nice. Meshing and unmeshing with a person is a trying and heart-wrenching process, but with time, I now see the value it’s added to my life and to who I am. As mushy as it sounds, I’m hopeful that I can remain happy about what we had when we had it and not let bitterness prevail. However susceptible to deep and frequent aches I may be on account of my tenderheartedness, life is too quick to remain bitter towards those who have cared for me.

    (via breadandolives)

    Is the world telling me something?

    Forgot to mention this gem: 

    Went out last night, sat down at a table across from the female friend I was with, server comes over asks the following: 

    Server: “Hey! Is this a late Valentine’s Day celebration for you two?!” 

    Us: ” .  .  .  .  . ” (exchange glassy-eyed, head slightly tilted blank stares)

    Us: *look at server* “Oh, no, we’re just… getting away from work.” 

    (1) My Dad once asked me if I was a lesbian because I expressed extreme annoyance for children;

    (2) My Brother recently asked me if I was a lesbian because I never have mentioned my love life to him. 

    … and I still repeat: I like men. (but apparently I give off the alternative vibe)

    Regardless, my friend and I were baffled, but it was a good laugh considering all else. 

    BONUS: it’s now socially acceptable (at least in our specific region) to assume that a same sex pair of individuals who are sitting together are in a relationship. Thumbs up. 

    P.S. Best line of the night: “My god, you dated Rain Man.” 

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