Forgot to mention this gem: 

Went out last night, sat down at a table across from the female friend I was with, server comes over asks the following: 

Server: “Hey! Is this a late Valentine’s Day celebration for you two?!” 

Us: ” .  .  .  .  . ” (exchange glassy-eyed, head slightly tilted blank stares)

Us: *look at server* “Oh, no, we’re just… getting away from work.” 

(1) My Dad once asked me if I was a lesbian because I expressed extreme annoyance for children;

(2) My Brother recently asked me if I was a lesbian because I never have mentioned my love life to him. 

… and I still repeat: I like men. (but apparently I give off the alternative vibe)

Regardless, my friend and I were baffled, but it was a good laugh considering all else. 

BONUS: it’s now socially acceptable (at least in our specific region) to assume that a same sex pair of individuals who are sitting together are in a relationship. Thumbs up. 

P.S. Best line of the night: “My god, you dated Rain Man.”